Today's Motto

Learn from a sensei or not at all.

No happy

California won't be happy till everyone is forced to buy this color scheme. Then they will ban them all together.

Next time you are watching an action movie, imagine the hero carrying one of these. Then imagine that there are no action movies, and all action movies are replaced with romantic comedies. Then imagine that comedies are banned because everything is considered racist and politically incorrect. Then imagine that you are watching a sappy romance movie. Wow...awesome.

More stuff you don't need

The Snazy Napper.....sooooo convenient.

Coco De Rasta

Some cool cars

I found a reference to blue collar customs in Sacramento in a rat rod magazine. If I had to hire out some work to some guys, I would hit them up.

I'd drive this '36

If I am not mistaken, James Hetfield from Metallica bought this one. Nice taste. Its hard to imagine Metallica was formed nearly 30 years ago...

Joke fo da day

A wealthy man goes to his office one morning. When he gets there he realizes that he has left his wallet at home and there is something important in it that he needs. He gets on the phone, calls home where the butler answers.
"James, I left my wallet in my pants, and I need you to get it for me. There is an important paper that you can read to me over the phone."

The butler goes upstairs to the bedroom to get the wallet. A few minutes later he comes back to the phone to tell the man, "I am sorry, your wife is in the bedroom and she does not let me in to get the wallet!"

The man tells James, "I do not care about that! Tell her you need to get in! Just get the wallet for me, now!"

James goes upstairs again, and returns a minute later, "Sir, I could not find your wallet, but I did discover a man hiding in the room with your wife!"

"What? I do not believe this! OK. Listen to me! This is what I want you to do. Go upstairs and shoot the man and my wife along with him before he gets away! Hurry, now!"

James runs off again. A few minutes later, the man hears shotgun blasts in the background. James returns to the phone and tells him, "OK, I did it. They are both dead. Now what?"

The man replies, "Now I want you to take the bodies and dump them in the swimming pool. I am on my way. I will be there shortly!"

"What?" says James, "you do not have a swimming pool!"

"I am sorry," says the man, "wrong number."

Spoofs

The vampires suck movie is out this week. Someone should write a spoof on spoof movies. The movie would show by example how retarded it is to ride the coat tails of something popular to make a few bucks.

Insane clown posse is in the news because their fans threw beer bottles and shoes filled with excrement at some 15-minute fame internet girl. On the radio they decided to play some classic ICP (that I hadn't heard before). Every once in a long-long while a spoof is better than the original. I always thought the original Eminem song sucked.

Delivery

Delivery is key in comedy.

He was asked why he missed the game...

It will never end

http://www.gocomics.com/foxtrot/2010/08/15/

Timeshares

There are 2 types of people. People who own time shares and people who don't. The people who own time shares seem to defend them with their life. Time share owners claim they can be traded for cruises, other hotels, etc. People who don't own time shares always have a dumb-dog blank look when they stare at time share owners defending their purchase.

Would you like a cup of tea?

This one had me falling out of bed last night. Its almost as good as the sniper prank.

Just say "No" to flight attendant jobs

In the news is a story about a jet blue flight attendent who was fed up with the job, said "so long on the P.A."and then jumped off the plane using the emergency slide as an exit. I really don't care to comment on his story. But the story did make me think, being a flight attendent is like working the worst waiter/waitress job available. Think about all the crap that a flight attendant deals with....no tips, working in closed quarters, working with drunks, babies, dirty people, fat people, belligerent people, jihadists, not being able to leave work, and dealing with ridiculous requests. The only upside is traveling, and even then, you can get forced to go somewhere you don't want to. The other possibility is that you are forced to go to the same place repeatedly. How many times do you want to go to Houston? When you think about it, you really develop a new respect for them. That job sucks. I'm not doing it.

If you are a flight attendant, read ->this<- post

Funky Friday Mix

ZOMBIES!!!! Oh wait, they want to wash the car...its cool



My new slogan "Zombies hate the 1911"

More bad tats

This one is from peopleofwalmart.com. I guess this employee couldn't come up with a good idea the day they were giving out free tattoos. "Uhhh.....uh....I'LL TAKE THAT ONE!"

Quit your job

If you HAD to quit your job, Scarface (in Half Baked) shows us how to do it.

Wrong

This is an Osama support rally. Spot whats wrong with this picture. You can click on the picture to make it larger.

When you give up, click here.

Bad day

This picture makes you scratch your head a little bit. SanDisk was sponsoring the Alice/Ducati motorcycle team for a little while. I tried to see if a SanDisk logo was visible because that would be a great promotional poster.

Mixed media

This was pretty cool. Superimposed pictures from WWII on modern day land marks.

http://sergey-larenkov.livejournal.com/

That is pretty neat that somebody spent the time to find the land marks, get the right angles and then mix the images.

How to waste another 20 minutes

http://thereifixedit.com

Not possible?

I didn't even know this was possible.
this is so retarded

How to waste 20 minutes today

On this website: http://www.motivatedphotos.com

Hmmm..

This tattoo screams "I don't want a job, ever."

My laugh for the day

Found this on vwvortex.com...

Clint Eastwood

As a kid I never liked Clint Eastwood movies. I have come around to liking those classic movies. Especially The good, the Bad and the Ugly series. Yes series, most only remember that one (made in '66). But Fist Full of Dollars ('64) and A Few More Dollars ('65) were equally noteworthy.


Yes, I know this isn't Clint Eastwood in the first part of this scene, but the whole movie was good.

The vampire slayer

Have you ever noticed that mosquitoes and vampires have very similar characteristics? They both live on blood. They both avoid the sun, only coming out at night. They never seem to die. They love water. They always hang out in groups. They both watch you in your sleep. They are both annoying as hell. They both glisten in the sun.... wait, I think I am starting to describe twilight.

I took this Mosquito Magnet from my parents house.

I was a bit skeptical at first. I had tried a few things that were hopeless at fighting off the vampires. This thing is awesome. It runs on propane, electricity and attractant. It uses electricity to run a fan. The propane burns as hot air, water vapor and carbon dioxide. The carbon dioxide, heat and attractant attract the mosquitoes. A propane tank lasts one month. There is always a pack of mosquitoes hanging around the device. They get close to the attractant where they get sucked up into a net. The heat dries them out and kills them. This is one weeks killings. I can finally go out and not get eaten alive. Still a lot more to go. I might have to start calling my new machine "Blade" and give it flat-top. I would rather refer to the machine as "Blade" than "Buffy".