Wrinkles?

"Baby got wrink...KAPPOW.....damn!"

http://www.hulu.com/watch/57934/saturday-night-live-sir-mix-a-lot-photo-shop

Revelation: [most] NES GAMES SUCK!

What sucks the most is that these games were $39 (later on SNES $49), and you bought them and they blew sheep balls. And the lame nintendo power magazine would never tell you the truth about how bad most games suck. They would just make it out like every game was awesome, and feature posters and codes and crap.

I wish I had an honest review like this back when I was a kid. I could have saved a fortune. Most of the time we rented games, but our crappy "Video Express" store had 1 copy of each game, cost $2.76 (yes I remember the exact ammount, because I had to scrounge it up out of cushions or the ashtray), and you rented the game for 48 hours. The people at the store were never any help, so you ended up riding all way down to the store to just see what they had in stock.

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/49453?type=flv

Ah. to be home

When I was born, they placed me in an incubator box.
I live in a state run by Barbara Boxer.
I live in a box house, on a street with many other box houses.
I drive my box car, to my box building job.
Where I will work for 45 years until I am ready for a much smaller box.
I work in a box, called a cubicle.
I stare at a box (computer screen) all day.
Inside that box are little box windows.
I sort stuff into boxes, which are named "folders".
I print stuff out, where I walk down the hallway to pick it up from a big box printer. The printer is always broken. Piece of crap.
I talk to my boss in his big box office.
I pick up my box lunch from the cafeteria.
Occasionally, I check my mailbox for junk mail.
I work in long box called a "lab".
I take a dump in a box stall.
In the evening, I illegally take the diamond lane home (which is just a box rotated 45 degrees).
After parking, I notice there is a brown box left by my front door.
Delivered by the box man in his box truck.
I carry my box into my box house, where I am greeted by my family and my dogs. So much joy, that you forget about the mediocre day filled with boxes. F-da boxes, I am home.

Check your ears and calibrate your speakers

Top 10 Cinemassacre’s Shootem Up Movies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fStAxtEAhfI

Is it bad that I use many of the scenes featured in these clips to calibrate my home stereo. I just pop in the DVD and jump to those scenes. I figure, if you can hear all the gunshots, talking, echoing, clips, clicks, bullets ricocheting, cartridges hitting the floor…then damn, your sound system is perfect.

It will be a cold day in hell when I use "You’ve Got Mail” to calibrate my stereo.

VWVortex

I frequently peruse vwvortex (general car forum). This thread cracked me up.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4386640&page=1

nice drawings, kind of like mspaint=crayons. Its funny when you post something to complain, and 30 people jump on to make fun of you.

Scammers

Revenge on the nigerian scammer.

http://www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm

Its long, but very entertaining.

The Great Government Ponzi Scheme

How long are we going to let government run the great ponzi scheme called "Social Security"? What num-nuts thought this pyramid scheme system through? How can we rely on the money raised today by people under 65 to support people over 65?

I have been maxing out my social security contributions ($10K/year), and now the jack A$$es in office want to raise the caps!!!! Yeah, the guys voting to raise the caps are 60 friggin' years old. What does it matter to you if you raise the caps?

People are going to progressively live longer, and how can you expect the little money saved now to help people every year after retirement? Why should individuals be forced into this government savings system? I am pretty sure my money would be better spent on the stock market than spent on social security.

I tell you what, how about make it an option system, let me opt out now, and you can keep everything you have already taken, and I won't ask for a dime when I turn 65, or whatever age you deem fit for retirement. As it seems to be continually changing. More BS to the system.

First the government forces you to save money. Then they tell you how old you have to be to get it back. They tell you how much you will get later, and they give you a little bit every week. What the hell is this? And when it does come time to give the money back, the inflation is so far through the roof, that the money you get can't pay for groceries and rent.

When are we going to shut down this system?

Are you a redneck?

[found on the internet]
Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family..

What
do
you do?

Democrat's Answer :


Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

.........................................................................

Republican's Answer:



BANG!


....................................................................


Redneck's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!

Were those the Winchester
Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

Mashup Music

I found a cache of mashups online. A mashup is a mixing of two songs together. After listening to about 100 of these in the last 2 days. It seems the best mashup-mix recipe is if you take a hit pop song from the last year and mix it with a pop song from 20-30 years ago. I may have to try to make one of these....

here's my list of what I downloaded.
You can download youtube videos as MP3s with this site: http://www.vidtomp3.com Then just burn a CD or Mp3 track for your car. Unless you have the bose high fiddy system in your car you shouldn't notice a difference. I won't, not in any of my cars :)

My Mashup List:
The Beatles vs LCD Soundsystem vs The Kinks - Mashup by FAROFF

Akon vs. Nelly Furtado (DJ Mei Lwun mashup)

The Bloodhound Gang feat Britney Spears - Unusual Uhn Tiss (Bambis Double U T Mash Up)

Britney Spears Vs. Kardinal Offishall - Break The Dangerous Ice [EXCLUSIVE MASH-UP MIX]

Snow Patrol vs. The Police (Partyben mash-up)

Limp Bizkit vs. The Rolling Stones (DJ Top Cat mashup)

Loo & Placido Black Beatles

Inxs vs. Rob Base (DJ Big Ruckus mashup)

Free vs. The Black Eyed Peas (Sam Flanagan mashup)

Fedde Le Grand vs. Pharrell (DJ Lobsterdust mashup)

Mims vs Rihanna (Tizwarz mashup)

KARDINAL OFFISHALL 'DANGEROUS' feat. AKON (Official Video) Not downloading properly for some reason...

KARDINAL OFFISHALL DANGEROUS Remix Ft. SEAN PAUL & AKON

Lady GaGa vs, The Eurythmics (Divide & Kreate Remix)

Dirty vs Are U Gonna Be My Girl - Christina A. vs Jet (J.P.s Edit)

Christina vs. Ludacris & Mary J Blige (Matt Hite mash-up)

Disturbed....

So very disturbed today.

I finally sat down to watch the real doll series. That is messed up beyond belief.
Real doll
episode 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrvbj2aRT1I
episode 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNFUCF3qBAo
episode 3 ? can't find it now ?
episode 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxQsvWXdh8M
episode 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS_VQrVLmTs

If you have to watch anything, watch the beginning and then watch part 4, time 4:40.


-----------------

But then .... just when I thought things couldn't get more disturbing, I watched this series. [!SHOCK!]




Sure I like cars, but I can see where this was taken to the extreme. There are some sick people out there.

(highlights)
episode 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjeqlmb7Ri8
episode 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwKJsPF7LNE
episode 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7pDFqV_-ik (2:20, & 4:10)
episode 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiUpXjJj1yU (0)
episode 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqtgWw141ro (1:20)

How the hell do you lose a job stocking milk at Walmart? Well, for starters, forget to tell them that you aren't coming to work, and that you are several states away.